Falcon Monaro | Editor-in-chief - Page 19

Editor-in-chief of The Bendigo Standard and an excellent parallel parker. "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories." *Dun Dun*
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Sacred Heart Cathedral’s New Stained Glass Window: Jesus Wearing Ugg Boots

Bendigo's Sacred Heart Cathedral unveiled its latest addition yesterday: a stunning stained glass window featuring Jesus Christ donning snug ugg boots. The monumental artwork has sparked...

Bendigo’s Gold Mines Contain Chocolate Coins, Claims Local Conspiracy Theorist

Local conspiracy theorist, Gary Diggins, has dropped a bombshell on the unsuspecting residents of Bendigo. He claims the town's famous gold mines are loaded with...

Bendigo Standard Runs Out of News, Publishes Satirical News Article Instead

The Bendigo Standard announced today that it has officially run out of news. With nothing left to report on, the desperate editorial team decided to...

Bendigo Man Refuses to Drink Coffee. Townsfolk Declare Him a Witch

Bendigo locals claim to have discovered a suspected witch among them. The accused, 34-year-old man Gary Pritchard, committed the heinous crime of refusing to drink...

Bible Story Hour Debuts at Bendigo Library With Godly Flair

Bendigo Library has launched "Bible Story Hour". With an angelic ensemble, Bendigo's churches have assembled to inspire and entertain local children. Hosted by Sister Mary Glitter,...

Smart Fridge Locks Out Owner after 3 am Snack Binge

In a fantastic display of technological sass, an intelligent fridge has out its owner for a late-night snack binge. Local man, Mike Reynolds, was left...

Eaglehawk Reebok’s Crowned Official Footwear Of The 2026 Commonwealth Games

The Commonwealth Games Federation (CGF) announced Eaglehawk Reeboks as the official footwear of the 2026 Commonwealth Games. The decision has sparked widespread excitement as well...

New Study Shows That 100% of People Who Exercise Regularly Will Eventually Die

A groundbreaking new study conducted by researchers at La Trobe University has revealed the shocking truth that 100% of individuals who exercise regularly will, in...

Local Man’s Inability to Parallel Park Now Considered a Tourist Attraction

A local man's chronic inability to parallel park has become the city's newest tourist attraction, drawing crowds and generating significant revenue for Bendigo's tourism industry. Terry...

5-Year-Old Goes To The Hostabul To Get Tonsils Wemoved

Plucky 5-year-old Timmy Thompson marched into Bendigo Health to have his tonsils removed, but post-surgery, he had a startling request: he wanted them reinstalled. "I wike...

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