Falcon Monaro | Editor-in-chief - Page 15

Editor-in-chief of The Bendigo Standard and an excellent parallel parker. "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories." *Dun Dun*
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New Study Shows 50% of People Can’t Spill

National News 0
A new studdy conducted by the Bendigo University of Linguistic Observations (BULO) reveels a shocking find: 50% of people can't spill. Prof. Mike L. Tant...

Council Turns Potholes Into 5000 New Swimming Pools

Local News 0
Bendigo City Council announced yesterday its ingenious solution to the city's notorious pothole problem: turning them into 5000 new swimming pools. "We realized that fixing the...

Castlemaine Plans Monumental Hipster Statue

Food & Drink 0
In an audacious attempt to outdo Dadswell's Bridge's beloved Giant Koala, Castlemaine has announced plans for a monumental Hipster statue. The proposed statue, dubbed "The Craft...

Sovereign Hill Historical Reenactor Devastated to Learn That World Has Moved on From Bowler Hats

Fashion 0
A Sovereign Hill employee has been left devastated and disoriented upon discovering that the bowler hat, once the pinnacle of headwear fashion, has not only...

Local Woman Drops Phone In Lake Weeroona. Turtles Unimpressed by iPhone 14

Local News 0
Local woman Kate O'Connell accidentally dropped her brand-new iPhone 14 in Lake Weeroona on Saturday, sending shockwaves throughout the turtle community. The device failed to...

Galactic Empire Celebrates Star Wars Day by Blowing Up Bendigo

Local News 0
In a stunning display of force, the Galactic Empire celebrated Star Wars Day by obliterating  Bendigo in a move reminiscent of the destruction of Alderaan. Reports...

Centrelink Hold Music Crushes Caller’s Spirit

Local News 0
California Gully resident Sharon Thompson has admitted defeat after a gruelling 60-minute standoff with Centrelink's notorious hold music. Mrs Thompson, who began the call to...

Local Woman Is 100% Sure The Discman In Cashies Is Hers

Local News 0
Local woman, Candy Skeeball, has made an earth-shattering discovery at Cash Converters – a vintage Discman that she is positively and undeniably certain was once...

Local Family Attempts Unprecedented 253rd Consecutive Taco Tuesday, Daring to Keep Tradition Alive

Food & Drink 0
The Stewart family from Maiden Gully are daring to host an unprecedented 253rd consecutive Taco Tuesday tonight. Despite concerns from health experts, the Stewarts remain...

Groovin The Moo Unleashes Brown Note, Neighbours Devastated by Uncontrollable Bowel Movements

Local News 0
Groovin The Moo has inadvertently weaponised sound in an unprecedented turn of events. Neighbours are left crying "foul" as they experience the Brown Note, a...
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