Falcon Monaro | Editor-in-chief - Page 10

Editor-in-chief of The Bendigo Standard and an excellent parallel parker. "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories." *Dun Dun*
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Wordle today: Here’s The Answer And Hints

Who gives a shit?

45-Year-Old Discovers Age Pension Is 20 Years Away

Local Gen-Xer Terry Thompson has realised that a pension awaits him in a mere two decades. Witnesses report the earth-shattering moment when Terry, gripped by...

Rival Gangs of Bin Chickens Engage in Battle Over Botanical Gardens Bins

Local Bin Chickens, known for their fearless pursuit of discarded chips and half-eaten Macca's, have taken their territorial disputes to new heights—or rather, new rubbish...

Housing Crisis Solved! 110,000 People, 1 House, Infinite Awkward Moments

Bendigo residents have pioneered a novel solution to the housing crisis – sharing one house like a giant, dysfunctional family. With over 110,000 residents now cohabiting...

Bendigo Brewery Wins Award for Most Pretentious Beer Name Yet

Bendigo's Hops And Dreams brewery has clinched the prestigious Most Pretentious Beer Name Yet award in a stunning display of linguistic gymnastics. The winning concoction,...

Local Teacher Turns Hangover Into ‘Heads Down Thumbs Up’ Triumph

In an innovative move that blurred the lines between education and daycare, a local primary school teacher, Mrs Johnson, decided to kick off the school...

Party Planning Committee Book the Least Entertaining DJ in Bendigo

An office Christmas party planning committee proudly announced that they've successfully booked the least entertaining DJ in Bendigo. The selection process reportedly involved hours of...

Scientists Make Groundbreaking Discovery: Summer Is Hot

In a shocking turn of events, Bendigo's top-notch scientists have declared a groundbreaking revelation: Summer is, in fact, hot. The Elf on the Shelf-like announcement...

Elf on the Shelf Caught in the Middle of a Festive Swingers Soiree

In a shocking turn of events, Bendigo's most innocent holiday tradition, the Elf on the Shelf, has been entangled in a scandalous affair. Reports confirm...

Uber Eats Now Allow Users to Raid Their Neighbours’ Fridge

In an astonishing leap towards culinary convenience, Uber Eats is rolling out a revolutionary update that lets users raid their neighbours' fridges from the comfort...

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